This really sucks..

I have some really solid connections in my life. Individuals who I do not need to question or feel weary of that treat me as well as I treat them. I had to remind myself of this yesterday: I will not lower my standards and ignore my boundaries for no one. It still hurts deeply when you find out you were wrong about someone. Recently, I learned someone I loved and cared for and who I considered close felt the need to lie to me and when confronted; she danced around taking any sort of accountability and rewrote the story to make herself out to be the victim. What’s worst is she does not even see her behavior as wrong in any way and expected me to downplay her actions like she did then started to weaponize my past against me (somehow accountability is nonsensical) to say that I was overanalyzing the situation and making it bigger than it was. But I beg this question: Would you want a liar in your life? Would you want someone who instead of communicating would disappear unprovoked over anything? I do not mesh well with individuals who normalize behavior like this. I have never in life been lied to and caught on as it was happening. I thought that she would at least apologize and fess up to her actions and understand why her actions would be hurtful.. Instead I learned how flawed her character is– completely deflecting, and shifting the blame onto me, and attacking me for just wanting an apology.. Why would I want someone who instead of apologizing would paint me out to be someone I’m not?
A hard truth I am realizing is people tend to project their hurts and source their pain onto you. This lesson is one of the kinds I keep learning time and time again. I have been entirely selective with my inner circle and kind of baffled that I missed this. I can only surround myself with healthy people with a level of self- awareness who choses growth– not ones who selfishly acts without a regard for others and desires to continue to be that way moving forward.
I do not have the greatest of relationships with multiple relatives- just a lot I am cordial with, and interact with only when minimally necessary / in passing. This shift has done wonders in aiding my mental health. It just sucks I have to now add this individual to the list of cordiality. You can never be too certain about people especially if you do not know how they are during conflict or when they are angry.. And I learned there is also a such thing as overcommunicating. I really tried to get her to hear and understand my hurt and right the wrong but it fell on deaf ears. Some people cannot stand the idea that they are wrong ever.
The kind of person I am? I know when I am wrong. And I care about righting the wrong every.single.time. It kills me to even unknowingly hurt someone’s feelings. For someone to now be made aware of their hurting someone and it being justified in their head and outwardly to that person is my experience with several people I am un(fortunately) related to. Sometimes I think maybe this all had to happen to have the boundaries and standards I am proud to have today. I’m learning to disassociate from all outcomes or certainty about anybody’s place or position in my life.