January reflections

I spent a good bit of the month being honest with myself about my spending habits.

There are plenty of ways I could have saved way more money— by valuing budgeting & getting more bang for my buck rather than spending excessively solely out of convenience. I have started my investing journey and *sigh* I think of all the money that I spent on for temporary bliss like clothes, constant vacationing, artificial nails, or even this new car with an auto loan I didn’t previously have; and I’m just shaking my head at myself.. I recently spent about 4K out of pocket for a reconstructive procedure I’m getting tomorrow (1/28) and this is perhaps the first time where I feel I put in so much thought before moving forward with a new expense.. Anyone who’s had a surgery before knows that if there is a portion of the procedure not covered by insurance; it will be required to be paid in full prior to the scheduled surgery date (weeks in advance). It got me thinking that I didn’t put nearly as much thought as when I got my credit cards or when I signed on to this current auto loan. Isn’t that ironic? 4K v 20K..

Today— I am already planning on my exit strategy on this auto loan. Pretty soon, I want to start paying off the principal paying thousands upon thousands until the car is paid off. My goal is to not wait out the loan term, nor is it my goal to keep incurring interest recklessly anywhere.. The things I normalized as a broke college student cannot show up in my mid- to late adulthood. My relationship with money is going through a transformation because once your eyes opens up to your mistakes and you recognize solutions and game-changing moves that will position you in the long term to be in control of your finances— you realize there is so much at stake. There is so much money that is lost when you don’t have a plan for every dollar you make.

You live and you learn I guess.. If adulting has taught me anything, it’s your bad decisions and habits will one day catch up to you. I’m just thankful that I have allowed myself to have rich experiences with those I love and care for. I could never regret that. But I no longer care to look a certain way, or be a consumer in this very instant gratification world we live in where we are constantly bombarded with advertisements and messages saying we are in lack of something when truthfully.. the only lack one can ever have is living out of alignment to their purpose or inner calling.