What I desire from love.. ❤️

I used to be so insecure about the fact I had never been in a relationship. Now— I hate to say it but I realize I missed out on very little. In a world full of men with their manipulation and games AND emotional unavailability- – I’m not sure that any of the men I have encountered thus far could’ve ever added to my life in the way I desired. I’m mostly sorry to myself that I let the outside noise of the world affect my better judgement. I can go on a date and know from the very first one that Hey this guy had showed very little interest in who I am and is more concerned about how this night can play out in his favor. I’ve had my fair share of fun but now looking back it was just me wanting to feel chosen, wanting to have a partner as if my value rises based on if I’m single or not..

I hope that any woman who stumbles on this knows that you are already valuable. You need no man to validate your beauty, or worth. You need not to concern yourself with desirability politics and continue to grow and learn yourself in every way possible so that when someone in your life proves to know you and shows you they’re capable of loving you; you’re ready..

I love the peace I have in my life and respect all the work it took for me to get to the place I am now.. I won’t let anyone jeopardize the shadow work I’ve done, my inner healing, my solitude, my self worth, etc. I understand the fear of being alone especially if you’re one that desires to experience life with someone by your side all the time.. but what I do not understand and will not tolerate in my own life: being in a relationship where I’m unhappy instead of being able to enjoy my own company and find content-ness in my singleness..

A list of things I will never again go for from a relationship:

• Someone who isn’t intentional about growth or whose faith, values, and vision for the future don’t align with mine

• The lack of curiosity about what makes me me- my interests, hobbies, life story, goals and dreams

• A pattern of not feeling seen or understood within the relationship

• A partner who bolts at any opportunity of my learning about his past (relationships, upbringing, etc.)

These are not preferences—they are requirements for intimacy, safety, and mutual growth.